英语笑话
    Category: 英语笑话  Clicks: 1654  Top: 9  Update Date: 2008/09/14
Summary:Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight. Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting? Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith. 妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红? 弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?.

  • Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight. Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting? Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith. 妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红? 弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架? 妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架. 弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯.
    二、A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.    After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace. 'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said, ' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'
      一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会,他们打算在回家前吃点东西。但很不巧只有一家名声不好的下等酒吧烤菜馆开着门。   饭后,一位老人要牧师祈祷。“我想我是免了,”牧师说。“我不想让主知道我在这里。”
    三、 One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
    一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?" 四、
    4 - 4 = ?
     One day, the teacher inquired of Peter:" How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied. The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?" "The hole," replied Peter.  四减四等于几?
     一天,老师问彼得:“4减4等于几?”彼得张口结舌答不上来。老师生气地说:“真笨!你想,我要是往你口袋里放四个硬币,而你的口袋上有个窟窿,硬币全漏掉了,那么,你衣袋里还剩下什么?”“窟窿,”彼得答道。
    五、
    Get the kid.
      A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
      这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”
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